I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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