i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Watching her eat just hurts me
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So much rum. So many feels.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
