You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He kissed a someone with a penis
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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