Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
