i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
