I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
