Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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