Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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