now i know why i became what i already was.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
