Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
