I'm really into asian looking animals
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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