I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
