The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
