he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
