Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
