I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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