Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
