I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
