PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
