I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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