i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
