We named our party play list daddy issues
I looked at my own cervix.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
