i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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