my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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