If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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