found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I could fuck to npr.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
