if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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