ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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