it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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