matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
