i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
