It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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