why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
