so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Who put my cat in the fridge?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
