she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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