Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
