Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woke up backwards on a recliner
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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