Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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