yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
NoShamevember. You game?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
