dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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