After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
