I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
