and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
