Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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