Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
