I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
