so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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