Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize