We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
