you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize