hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I need a beard to bite.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
