the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i love accidental penises.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
