Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Is my tampon string too long for this dress?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.

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(313): View more from Michigan

These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Please get laid.

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(937): View more from Ohio

so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.

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(516): View more from New York

I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife

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(708): View more from Illinois

LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS

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