i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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