the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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