Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
