Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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