One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
