No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
