I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize