is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
