Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
